How to Use Words of Affirmation in Your Relationship

Actions speak louder than words — unless, of course, your partner’s love language is “affirmative.” In this case, words are everything. Whether they’re written or spoken, someone whose love language is affirmative will value what you have to say to them.

Your words will speak volumes, even if you want them to just let things slide. In fact, it’s not uncommon that simple phrases like “I thank you for…” and “I love the way you…” will go a long way in communicating their appreciation.

Your partner will especially appreciate compliments, heartfelt thanks, handwritten notes, and hearing what they mean to others. The goal is to let your partner know how much they mean to you and how much you care.

What Is An Affirmation?

When it comes to Gary Chapman’s five love languages, affirmations are the most common, including quality time and acts of service. It is also the only love language that revolves around verbal expression.

Affirmations are words that express your love, appreciation, and respect for others. They are positive words and phrases used to lift someone’s spirits. Furthermore, these compliments and words of encouragement do not need to be said directly to the person. A simple handwritten note is valued as much as a personal phone call.

People who give and receive love through affirmations tend to be people who notice and care about the details of other people’s lives. For example, they may be the first to notice their partner’s new hairstyle. They also remember to ask the neighbor how their dog is sick. They may even remember to ask the cashier at the local supermarket if they feel better.

Examples of Affirmations

Here are a few examples of affirmative words:

• “Everything is better when you’re here.”
• “I appreciate it when you…”
• “I couldn’t do this without you.”
• “I really love the new outfit. You look great!”
• “I’m so lucky to be with you.”
• “I’m so grateful to have you in my life.”
• “It’s impressive to me that you…”
• “Thank you for…”
• “You’re doing a great job. I’m really proud of you.”
• “You’re one of my favorite people to be around.”
• “You are so special to me.”
• “You are the best.”
• “Your support means a lot to me.”
• “You are an inspiration!”

Benefits of Affirmations

By using affirmations in your relationship, you are increasing communication between you and your partner. You are showing your partner that you notice and appreciate them. When your partner feels appreciated, they may feel more satisfied with themselves and the relationship.

Receiving affirmations can also help someone feel more self-worth and motivated. If you notice your partner is putting more effort into a special project or on their appearance, you can give them a word of encouragement or some praise. They will probably feel high and appreciate you for noticing.

Giving your partner a word of encouragement can also have a positive effect on you. Studies link giving compliments to feeling happier.

How to ask for more affirmations

If your love language is affirmations, it would be great for your partner to deliver a positive or loving message. You may be wondering how to get them to use your love language more often.

When your partner makes affirmations, let them know that their words make you feel good. Try saying, “I love it when you tell me the great work I’m doing” or “I’m so glad to hear you say that.” When you respond with gratitude, your partner will likely be encouraged to continue offering you affirmations.

You can even introduce your partner to love languages ​​if they aren’t already familiar. Maybe you and your partner sit down to discuss each other’s preferred languages.

It’s also helpful to familiarize yourself with your partner’s love language, especially if it’s different from your own. They can’t always make affirmations when you want them to, but that’s okay. Try to notice and appreciate it if they give you another sign of their love (perhaps in their own love language).

Tips for using affirmative words

A sweet note placed in the center of the kitchen counter; a rear it placed in the middle of the mirror; or a favorite verse stuffed in a suitcase — these examples are just a few of the many different options that can be said to someone whose love language is affirmation.

If your partner’s primary love language is affirmations, you’ll need to find ways to convey what they mean to you. Here are some tips on how to speak this love language with your partner.

Verified

People who make affirmations their primary love language often notice the wrong circumstances, so make sure you’re authentic when talking to them. You want to make sure what you’re telling them is from the heart, because if you’re making things up, they’ll be able to talk.

Let’s sympathize

When it comes to affirmations, it’s important for your partner to realize that you realize how they’re feeling, especially if they’re feeling down. Show empathy for your partner. Think about how it feels to walk in their shoes and then show that you know how they are feeling.

Show your appreciation

Usually, people who feel satisfied with positive words and comments thrive when people acknowledge and appreciate what they do. Whether it’s the way they do their laundry, the meal they cooked for dinner, or the fact that they spent three hours verifying your report, it’s important that you tell them with certainty that you value how tall they are. And if you talk specifically about what you really like, it warms their hearts and fills their tanks. So don’t try to hold on.

Say ‘I love you’ a lot

People whose primary love language is affirmation never get tired of hearing “I love you” from the people they care about. While one often feels like this phrase is overused, an affirmative will never tire of hearing you say it, especially when you find new and creative ways. to convey his love.

Send them a letter

While email is a great way to communicate when you’re in a hurry, there’s something special about receiving a love letter in the mail. So get out your pencil and paper and start writing. Your partner will be very surprised to receive a letter from you. If a letter seems overwhelming, buy them a pretty card and write a nice line inside.

Post a note

Sometimes, the best and most effective way to announce how much you love your partner is to use a note and leave them a small message about how much they mean to you. If you want to get really creative, you can stick some notes with a heart or another shape on their bathroom mirror or car window.

Give them a shout

Make sure you praise your partner for asserting themselves in front of others. Tell them what makes you proud and what you really appreciate. Don’t go overboard and embarrass your partner, but telling others how great you think your partner is will touch their hearts in many ways. So don’t be stingy with compliments. This is a great way to fill your partner’s love tank.

Point out their strengths

Pointing out your partner’s strengths is especially important when they’re feeling down or depressed. Let them talk to them and point out what you really like about them or what they do well says a lot. They need to know that you see the value of who they are.

Dial

When your partner is going through a difficult time, you can say nice words. Be kinder and more loving while reminding your partner why they matter and how much they mean to you. It is always helpful to offer words of encouragement. These steps show them that you are there for them even when they have a hard time in life.

How to make affirmations a habit

Even if you’re not a fan of affirmations, you should make affirmations a daily habit. While it may not come naturally, there are things you can do to make making affirmations a habit:

• Try pet names: Perhaps you could start each conversation with the pet name you have your partner with. For example, you could say, “Good morning, beautiful” or “How are you, sweet pea?” These endearment terms may sound corny, but to an affirmative they can be special.
• Be yourself: Try not to put too much pressure on yourself or say things you don’t feel. Just allow yourself to be who you really are and share what you appreciate about your partner.
• Encourage: Affirmations aren’t just expressions of gratitude or compliments – they can also focus on encouraging words for your partner. When they express an interest in something or share one of their goals with you, let them know that you believe in them and support them.

What to avoid

Because people with this love language find words so powerful, they are also very sensitive to negative comments and criticism. In fact, a rough word can make people reel in affirmation.

For this reason, people whose primary love language is affirmative are often traumatized and traumatized by vanity, narcissism, and emotional abuse. Negative words, accusations and criticisms are like daggers to their hearts.

Here are a few things to avoid doing if your partner’s primary love language is affirmations:

• Don’t assume that there is a perfect quote for every situation in life.
• Do not be malicious or hurt your words; they take them to heart.
• Don’t be too critical or condescending; they interpret this as saying they are stupid or stupid.
• Don’t make fun of them or tease them too violently; they are sensitive.
• Don’t try to manipulate them with words or hitting below the waist.
• Don’t try to take shortcuts in expressing your love for them; they can tell when you are faking.
• Don’t take kind words as punishment.

A very good word

Being loved and appreciated in a way that you understand is important in any relationship. People whose love languages ​​are affirmations want to hear that you love them, appreciate them, and will be there for them.

While love language can be a useful tool for relationships, it’s okay if you and your partner seek extra support — especially if you’re feeling unloved or unloved. not appreciated. You might consider going to relationship counseling to strengthen your bond.