How to Deal With Adult Mean Girls

A girl’s average behavior doesn’t end in high school. You may also encounter adult “mean girls”. You may have to side with them at youth sporting events, sit next to them at parent-teacher meetings, or work with them.

Average behavior of an adult girl

What most people call “bad girl behavior” is actually relational aggression, which is a specific type of bullying designed to damage social relationships and status. of an individual. Basically, relationship aggressors aim to make you look bad to others. Alternatively, they may try to intimidate you by threatening to leave the relationship you have with them.

Although it can be seen as “bad girl” behavior, relationship aggression is not limited to girls and women. Anyone can engage in this type of bullying. The motivation for this behavior can be anything from jealousy to a desire for fame and power.

Signs of relationship aggression include:

• Cyberbullying: Indecent comments on your posts, sharing videos or photos of you without your permission, or impersonating you online are all examples of cyberbullying.
• Chat: The bully may spread rumors about you to your friends, family, or co-workers.
• Trouble: You may feel cornered by a “bad girl” who constantly tries to annoy you. Do you find them inevitable, even if you try to ignore them?
• Threats: The bully may even go so far as to threaten to harm you. A less overt form of intimidation can serve as a warning to stay away from friends with whom they have territory.
• Ostracizing: Maybe you’ve discovered that you’ve been excluded from a group text or weren’t invited to an important meeting. Or you’re feeling awkward at a gathering because someone purposely ignores you.
• Verbal insults: Bullies often use degrading comments about your personality or appearance, or they will adopt juvenile behaviors such as name calling.

Sometimes, the mob mentality prevails and colleagues will join the attacks. Other times, friends and colleagues may stand by the bullying behavior in silence. When this happens, it only adds to the bully’s feelings of helplessness, insecurity, and self-doubt.

How to deal with mean girls

If you are experiencing relationship aggression, rest assured that there are different ways you can try to deal with it.

Project credibility

Relationship-aggressive bullies often have the uncanny ability to discern when they can take control and manipulate a situation. Just like the saying, “Don’t let them smell your fear.” Try to show confidence when a bully shows up. They will do their best to irritate you, but if you don’t let their behavior affect you, they may back down.

Easier said than done, but try to avoid appearing nervous, insecure, or defeated.

Realize what you can control

Remember: You have no control over what other people say or do. But you have control over your response. No matter what the adult “bad girl” says or does, stay polite or professional. Try to keep your answers free of emotion and anger.

And if you can’t answer calmly, just walk away. Then think about how to deal with the situation in the future so you can prepare if there is another attack.

Stand up for yourself

Learn to be assertive and confident. If you lack these skills, take classes or read articles on how to improve your confidence and self-esteem. Can defend oneself respectfully without being aggressive or malicious in response.

Setting clear boundaries can be a powerful skill. For example, go directly to the bully and tell them that their negative comments will not be tolerated. If you are dealing with this person at work or in a volunteering situation, indicate that you plan to report any further abuse to the authorities.

Keep working hard

If you have a bully at work, don’t let their behavior derail you at work. Don’t send angry emails or talk to other co-workers about what’s going on. Doing so creates drama and gives the “bad girl” exactly what they want.

Instead, focus on continuing to create high-quality work and have good relationships with your other teammates. Don’t let the turmoil caused by the actions of others keep you behind on projects.

Of course, you may want to take action by reporting any abuse or harassment to your human resources (HR) department.

Abandon the conversation

If you’re the one to stay out of adult relationship aggression, excuse yourself from a gossip conversation by pointing out that you have to make the call or that you have a meeting to discuss. attend. If you provide an audience for gossip, you will continue to be sought after.

It is important to report unfair behavior to a supervisor or human resources. You can also offer to befriend the person being targeted.

And if you’re the target, dissociating yourself from being harassed instead of reacting may well be the best course of action.

Behavior Report

Bullying is not allowed to continue. Contact human resources or your supervisor. You should also document all bullying incidents including dates, times, and witnesses. Keep all email correspondence, especially if the “bad girl” office is an online workplace.

Find healthy ways to cope

You may have tried a number of ways to deal with bullying and found that it takes a while to get under control. Many times when you want to quickly resolve a bullying situation, the reality is that it can take a while to resolve.

During this time, you may feel stressed and frustrated. There are many different strategies you can use to help you manage these emotions. Some things to consider include:

• Do exercise: Reduce your stress by doing some cardio exercises. Try following a dance video at home, go for a run, swim at the gym, join a team sport or take a kickboxing class.
• Forest bathing: Known as shinrin-yokuForest bathing involves being in nature as a way to relax. A 2019 study notes that hanging out in the woods can lower levels of cortisol (aka the stress hormone).
• Have a hobby: Making art has been shown to reduce stress in participants. There are many mediums for you to choose from when it comes to crafting: painting, woodworking, jewelry making, sculpture, crochet, scrapbook making, collage, photography, etc. Think about playing an instrument, learning chess, watching birds, playing video games, solving puzzles or building models.
• Write diary: Writing about your day can help you gather your thoughts and view situations objectively. It can also release the stress of the burden of being bullied by letting your writing pages carry your worries instead of your mental and physical ones.
• Practicing mindfulness: The meditation, breathing, and mindfulness techniques are well worth a try. Not only can they help with overall stress management, but they can also help ground and calm you in times of confrontation.
• Volunteer: Helping another person, animal, or cause offers a great opportunity to do something positive, as well as freeing your mind from the stresses of life. Volunteering has the potential to boost the self-esteem of those you help and enhance your self-worth in the process.

Another bonus of engaging in different coping strategies is that they will often introduce you to new, like-minded people. If bullying is a problem in your current social network, you might instead find yourself making friends in art class, animal camp co-volunteers, or volleyball teammates.

Also, you’ll want to surround yourself with family and friends who support you. Remind yourself that there are people who care and want the best for you.

When do you need help?

Pay attention to your feelings and emotions when dealing with an adult bully. If your mental or physical health is being affected, you should not hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist can address symptoms of anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem you may be experiencing. They can also provide additional coping skills and strategies for dealing with bullies.

A very good word

Dealing with “bad girl” behavior can be exhausting. If you feel exhausted, depressed or anxious, contact a counselor. If you don’t have a counselor to call, ask your doctor for a referral.

It is never a good idea to ignore the effects of bullying. You need to deal with relationship aggression before it harms you. Coping strategies are worth trying, and above all, remember that bullying is not your fault. You are not alone and there is always support.